Little Loves

Hello friends!
It's that time of year when I'm feeling the love and reminiscing about that awesome time in my life when a few dozen men taught me the true meaning of love. I'm forever grateful.

Life is full and simple these days. I recently gave birth to our third little girl.
Y'all -- I delivered this baby myself in the front seat of the car.
My water broke and it was a full-on, movie-scene rush to the hospital. Complete with my husband trying to quickly, yet extremely gently navigate traffic as I declare, "She's coming!" He ran into the hospital screaming for help, likely waking up the receptionist who was kicking back for a quick 11pm snooze. When my husband came back out twenty seconds later - I was holding our sweet little lady on my chest.
The moment of delivering my child by myself was the most connected I've ever felt to the billions and billions of women who've helped welcome little humans to this earth. Life truly is a miracle. What a wild ride.

Recently, my friend KaRyn invited me to speak about some of the lessons I learned in my 31 dates in 31 days on her podcast, "This is the Gospel." I've often mentioned that my experience was life-changing, but I haven't always explained the details of how and why. I'm a true believer that when we are ready to be taught, the lessons will come. And I still look at this project as a treasured time that taught me more lessons than I'd ever expected. Here's a link to the podcast. My story begins around five minutes in.

And here's a link to a good deal on my book. It's the most affordable copy you'll find online - and I'll even sign it for you.

Sending you and your loved ones love.
-Tam

Five Years Later and STILL Feelin' the Love!

I can't believe five years have gone by since my life-changing adventure, 31 Dates in 31 Days! So what has happened since this?

Well... this:

And this:

And of course this:


Seriously, I am so grateful for challenging myself to do something daring/crazy/possibly-publicly-embarrassing five years ago. Who knew one lil' risk would yield so much awesomeness?
I'm also grateful for the men I met through the project (especially my husband! So glad he decided to be one of my dates!).

Feelin' the love!
Happy Valentine's season y'all! :)

Three Lessons on Love I've Learned in the Last Three Months

The last three months have been a crash course in parenting for me. I've learned how to master the art of changing a diaper - and how to change it again just a few seconds later. I've interpreted the cries from my daughter, differentiating "I'm tired" from "I'm hungry" and "Hey! Hold me higher so I can see everyone in the room!" But the biggest lessons I've learned all have to do with love.

Lesson #1: The Heart Can Hold an Infinite Amount of Love

Apparently I was the Grinch before my baby was born.
Remember how his heart "grew three sizes" on Christmas? As the anxiety/shock/weariness of childbirth wore off and the reality of this tiny new person's life set in, I took a look at her little hands and tiny lips and cried with pure joy. In fact, I would cry at everything. A sweet congratulatory card would make me whimper. The kindness from the lactation ladies helping me with nursing would trigger tears. Even commercials showing families excited over new cars would get me going.
My husband and I would look at each other and declare our baby's perfection. And I would bawl with happiness of our little blessing. I was one hot weeping new mommy mess.
And I loved every minute of it.

Lesson #2: Another Word for Love: YUM

During the first two weeks of motherhood, a bunch of friends from church stopped by to bring my husband and I dinner. Every time I would thank someone for making an extra couple servings of dinner for us, the response was, "No problem."

How scrumptious is she??!!

So maybe it didn't seem to be a lot of effort on their part, but to me, those meals helped me focus on my baby while I was still physically recovering from my delivery. In those few minutes of them dropping off food, seeing my baby, and declaring "What a head of hair she has!" I was able to visit with friends and remember how lucky I am to know so many great people.
Sometimes showing love can be done with a meal, a visit, a phone call. It doesn't take much. Just a little effort can change someone's day from frazzled to blessed.

Lesson #3: The Secret Sauce of Love is Made from Forgiveness

I'm pretty sure it was only the third day of being a new mom that I declared myself a failure. The baby was crying and I couldn't figure out what she wanted. I loudly sighed to my husband, "YOU take her!"
And then I felt awful. Was I the worst mom ever because I couldn't help her? Or worse - because I couldn't handle her???
I realized then that feeling like a failure probably just comes with parenthood. A sign of my earning my stripes. I know I'll have plenty of opportunities to mess up as a parent - and just as many opportunities to forgive myself and everyone else around me. Forgiveness seems to be the key to accepting that we're human and gives us the strength to move on and become better.

And I'm so grateful for my husband, who's already proved to be the world's best dad. I knew he'd be a great father when I married him and I'm so grateful I finally get to see him in action. Watching him as a dad makes me fall in love with him all over again.

I do feel like the luckiest mom in the world. This baby girl has changed my heart and life forever.
Happy 3 Months to my sweet little lady!

P.S. It's Cyber Monday. Books make great gifts! Grab a copy of 31 Dates in 31 Days today!

"Nesting" is the New "Date"

I'm just three days away from the due date of our first baby. Over the past few weeks, I've felt the constant surge to prepare. After all, everyone keeps asking, "Are you ready?" Which becomes a question that helps me assess, just one more time, whether I've gotten the nitty gritty ready in our two bedroom apartment for this little lady.
I mean... getting on my hands and knees to scrub the underside of a toilet while maneuvering 40+ pounds of extra body weight into the teeny-tiniest corner of a bathroom is totally normal. Right?
I can't help it if I have a 3am urge to Google the best, natural solutions for getting rid of grease on my kitchen's range hood. Or if I find it to be a good investment to spend $40 to rent one of those huge carpet cleaning machines to make sure our flooring is clear of any electron-sized allergens. This is nature's cruel punishment to expectant moms, forcing us to get our nest ready for our chicks.
Truly, nesting is a natural curse occurrence for all moms. (Yep, we can blame SCIENCE!) And sometimes, all this "getting ready" might make us growing belly gals look a little crazy.

See? Major improvement and totally necessary!

Simple evidence that I might have lost it: Last week I steam cleaned the white linen seats of our dining room chairs. I decided the steam cleaning wasn't good enough. So I dragged my husband to the fabric store. And we began ripping off the old fabric to replace them with something more "kid-friendly."
"Dear," my husband says reasonably, "Do we really need to start taking apart these chairs at a quarter 'til midnight?"
Well... of course!
Besides, what else am I going to do? I'd rather have my brain on getting ready for baby's arrival instead of constantly having the freak out of WHAT AM I GETTING MYSELF INTO WITH THIS PARENTING THING?
Surely I'll mess up as a parent enough times in the first six weeks to fuel her therapy sessions later in life. But at least my baseboards will be the envy of Martha Stewart.

Upon my lists of "must-dos," I've included "spend quality time with my husband before our lives as us are seemingly over." While we've still managed to go out on a few dates and explore more of Los Angeles, I can't help but keep getting distracted by that naughty list of MUSTS:
 *Purchase new sewing machine and fabrics to create perfect little dresses for baby
 *Thoroughly organize all of my greeting cards by size, color, and theme
 *Clean all the possible gunk off of our remote controls and electronics
 *Decide which diapers will be the best/most affordable/earth-friendly/rash-depleting for my precious bambina.
And of course, I'm doing all this while trying to continually connect with my husband AND remain as Zen while prepping for my natural, beautiful experience of welcoming a new human into the world.

I've accepted that this is just where we are right now. And so far, my husband (who has not only humored me through this process but has assisted me when it comes to re-organizing everything down to the utensils in the kitchen because it "just makes sense"), has held up through all my craziness. Hey, at least I haven't sold our couch on a whim. (Oh! A great idea!)

I've become convinced. My husband's love, support and tolerance through my nesting - THIS is what true love is made of.

I just can't wait for our eventual reward of our little girl.
Who will no doubt poop all over my newly-scrubbed carpets in the first five minutes of her arrival.

Dishing About Dating, Breakups, and Heartbreak Coaches

Last night I visited the folks at HuffPost Live to chat about dating, heartbreak, and how I decided to go out on 31 Dates in 31 Days after my painful breakups a few years ago.

Our panel discussion was launched by the news that Katy Perry sought the help of a Heartbreak Coach after her breakup with Russell Brand. Admittedly, I'M still getting over the fact that they split. So sad!

Ever since my project unexpectedly led to a totally changed life, I've become a Dating Coach - so of COURSE I'm going to fully endorse the idea of going to a Heartbreak Coach!
Hey, why not?
Going through breakups can be tough. In fact, they can cause some major life traumas. Your friends and family can do wonders when it comes to picking you up off the floor, or getting you off the couch, or handing you another gallon of Ben and Jerry's. But sometimes you might need the unbiased opinion of a third-party. Maybe that comes from a coach, or a therapist, or even just your hair dresser. Either way, if you're headed for heartbreak, I feel for you and hope that no matter how you deal - you heal.

For now, here's the video from last night's interview (and a chance to see me at eight months pregnant. Yowza!):

Pregnant and Dating

Have you heard about the show, "Pregnant and Dating?" 

 

Being pregnant WITH a partner is difficult enough with all the back pain, bloating, and frequent visits to the bathroom. I can't begin to think of how much added pressure it would be to date while trying to meet new guys.

But I will say this... for some reason I've noticed something peculiar happening as I waddle my overgrown bottom and belly down the street: Guys dig pregnant chicks.

I'm not talking about the public curiosity and generosity of strangers. Most people have been really kind to me while I'm out doing errands. They ask if this is my first, how far along I am, they wonder whether it's a boy or a girl, and often they help me with doors and such. It's been a wonderful time seeing how gracious strangers can be.

Then, a couple days ago, I was walking home from the grocery store, which is just a few blocks away. winced at the increased pain from my ribs, was sweating from the vengeful heat, and panted and heaved for breath, a new habit ever since my lil' lady began to steal the once-roomy space occupied by my lungs. I'm pretty sure I hadn't even bothered to wear makeup. Maybe not even a bra. I easily could have been mistaken for a vagrant searching for my next imaginary friend.

And then I heard something that had not been a familiar tone since my single days of walking everywhere in New York City. Some dude whistled at me. 

I turned back, checking to see if he was serious. Was he really looking at me?? After all, I looked as disheveled as if I'd woken with a hangover. A hangover on a hippopotamus. 

And he smiled.

Only five more weeks of pregnancy induced cat-calls

Two more times that day, men approached me with that "how you doin" gaze, telling me how good I looked with the same "I must have you right now" tone that I now constantly use when talking about my strong desire for ice cream and cupcakes.

As I get bigger, the men become even more interested. Do men just dig a bloating woman who resembles that girl who turns into a big blueberry in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory? Am I just a growing curiosity? Or is there something legitimate about men finding pregnant women attractive?

Some experts say it has to do with our increased "girly" hormones that we put off when we're pregnant. This is the one and only time in our lives when our skin looks "glowy" (and/or constantly sweaty). Our hair looks even more full since it's not falling out as often. Not to mention our porn-star-sized boobs. Or maybe it's just because guys realize the fear of contraception would be off the table with pregnant gals. 

If nothing else, I'm grateful that my husband ranks among the men who seem to find my expanding body beautiful. Honestly, I don't care what it is that guys dig about pregnant chicks. Just keep those compliments coming. Those moments will be bittersweet memories when our little screamers are annoying everyone in the grocery store.

When Your Date Ideas Don't Go as Planned

The Box of plans for each of our 12 Dates 

It's often that my vision of these "perfect dates" don't go as planned. And truthfully, that's probably a good thing, because in the end - if I roll with the punches - my times out tend to go better than I'd hoped!

I'm still taking a dose of my own medicine, challenging myself to consistently go out on dates (with my husband). Last Christmas, I gave the gift of "12 Dates in 12 Months" - a year's worth of pre-planned dates for the two of us. My goal for these dates is the same as always: to do something fun without breaking the bank.
On the first of every month, my hero opens an envelope to find that month's surprise outing.
But while I was being so sneaky and crafty with these great date ideas last year, there was one little detail I hadn't added into the equation.
Pregnancy.
Because I've been pregnant (and had such a bad case of morning/noon/night sickness for the first three months of 2013), my plans have needed a bit of tweaking.
My two most recent dates were both ideas I'd found through LivingSocial.com. The first was for indoor G-Kart racing, including two tickets to cruise the nearby course, plus a couple of fountain drinks. I was especially looking forward to its evening "Black Light" sessions, where they turn on the neon lights and make you feel like you're racing through Tron's world.
My hopes for Go-Kart racing were thwarted when I read the "no pregnant women" ban on their website. So I decided to make it a double date with some friends of ours who are also expecting their first baby. Fellow expectant mom, Rachel, stood with me on the sidelines while we sipped our pregnancy-approved beverages and cheered as the guys got to pretend they were in the Indy 500. We spent the rest of the evening catching up and eating yummy Mediterranean food. It all worked out well!

Evan and Cort lookin' like Daft Punk

The neon-lit racetrack

In May, I had hopes to take us on a whale watching tour. The day started out with us hopping onto a boat along the beautiful Newport Beach Harbor.

The Newport Beach Harbor - a perfectly clear day for watching whales!

Stinky Sea Lions

Family of Dolphins

It turned out the whales were being shy and instead sent in some buddies for backup. We managed to catch a glimpse of some sea lions.
Even better: Watching half a dozen dolphins swim alongside our boat as we headed back into the Harbor. So cool!



Hey, at least no one confused ME for a whale, right?
When has a date gone awry from your plans and ended up even better?

Cheers to love, life, and your love life!
-Tam
        
Tamara Duricka Johnson is the award-winning author of 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS. 
She is a dating coach who helps successful singles conquer dating dilemmas and offers one-on-one coaching for those ready to take their love lives to the next level.      

Dodging the Altar

Oh, wedding season. You bring such joy and excitement for so many couples who are taking steps toward one of the most awesome life changes. Along with it comes tears and laughter from friends and family reuniting to celebrate. The promise of lasting love. And great cake.
And then there are the stories of those making the getaway before the big day.

Stories like this:

This begs the question: How soon do you know when a relationship is OVER?

Don't we sometimes look at these cases of runaway brides and grooms and think, "Why didn't you tell me you were thinking of bailing before I sent you the present??"

Some husbands and wives who've ended up divorcing even later admit that they knew they weren't compatible with their spouses as they walked down the aisle! Yikes!

Admittedly, I've known some relationships were doomed from the very beginning, but I'd give them a chance anyway and hope things would work out. I think I just liked some of the guys I dated so much that I hoped hard work would overcome our blatantly apparent mismatch.
In fact, I once moved across the country in hopes of improving a relationship, thinking I was showing the ultimate form of dedication. I'd traveled hundreds of miles through a messy, blinding snowstorm for days. I was exhausted upon my arrival.
The moment he opened the door and gave me a huge hug welcoming me to my new town I thought, "Maybe this isn't a good idea."
Sometimes it takes a big move to help us realize what we likely already know.

In situations like these, it's important to step away from all the feelings that so easily confuse and excite us. In those moments, it's smart for us to step away and think, "What will our future look like in five years? Will I still be able to be my most authentic self?" or even dare to ask, "Do I really even love this person?"
Stepping away from something we're used to is, well, scary. And painful.
It's also brave. And sometimes necessary.

On the flip side, I've also made too quick of judgments by OVER-thinking. I see this happen a lot with my clients. Often, as soon as they meet someone, they reason their way out of seeing a potentially incredible future with someone. Sometimes it's the classic idea of thinking there's no "spark" or "connection" right away - and other times it's just from thinking too much and over-analyzing. (Such is the curse of successful guys and gals!)

So maybe consider this as a good formula to keep in mind:

                           Love him with your heart.   
                           Marry him with your head.
                              
In the beginning, it's a MUST to take risks! And as things get more "real" - that's when it's time to put your brain-hat back on, think about the possibilities of what a real future would look like with this person, and take the time to invest in the CHOICE of taking that next big step.

And as long as we're talking about taking big steps in life - take some steps toward the dance floor at the next wedding you go to. There's nothing a good Chicken Dance and a piece of chocolate cake can't help make better.

Cheers to love, life, and your love life!
-Tam
        
Tamara Duricka Johnson is the award-winning author of 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS. She is a dating coach who helps successful singles conquer dating dilemmas and offers one-on-one coaching for those ready to take their love lives to the next level.                    

Just For Today

I'm putting my newest client on assignment and I think it's appropriate for all of us to take this small challenge.

JUST FOR TODAY...

Act as if you don't mind the outcome

In my own life, I tend to avoid some risks or even some monotonous habits because I'm not so sure it's worth anything. What if nothing comes of it? What if I get rejected? What if it turns out this is a total WASTE OF TIME????

No one is immune to these feelings. So for the next day (and if you're REALLY daring, give yourself five days of this challenge), act as if you're really, genuinely okay with whatever the outcome is of your attempts. This doesn't need to be a permanent mindset. Just a little challenge to see whether you act and react differently to all that's set before you.

I'm taking this challenge on in my own life as I stick my own neck out a little. 

How could this attitude help you today?

Cheers to love, life, and your love life!
-Tam

Tamara Duricka Johnson is the award-winning author of 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS. She helps successful singles conquer dating dilemmas and offers one-on-one coaching for those ready to take their love lives to the next level.  

Spring is Springing!

YUP! I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!

I realize April Fool's Day is not the best day to announce this. Forgive me! But there's just no use keeping this fun secret a secret any more. Our "Happily Ever After" from our 31 Dates in 31 Days continues.
Mr. 31 and I are expecting a baby!

We recently found out the gender of the baby, which makes this adventure a lil' more "real."
Last week I threw a big surprise birthday party for my mom's birthday. Lots of family and friends were in town. Husband and I had just gone to get our big ultrasound and asked that the technician not to announce the gender but instead, write it down and put it in an envelope. The next day my mother-in-law and I went to the bakery and asked the baker to make a special cake with specific frosting on the inside: pink for a girl, blue for a boy. When we cut into the cake, we were excited to see what was inside. Can you tell what we're having??? Our addition is coming in August!

She's Engaged!

Last year I introduced you to Chantal - a spunky 20-something paralegal from Phoenix who wanted to shake up her dating life. At that time, Chantal had been dragged by a friend to hear me speak about my 31 Dates in 31 Days experience. She entered the room a skeptic and left committed to doing her own project. So she kicked off one month of dating last March - with "March in the Men."

As of today - just a year later - she's ENGAGED!
HUGE Congrats to you and Nathan!
xoxo

And just so ya' know, that award-winning book, 31 Dates in 31 Days is now on super-sale from Amazon. Makes a great gift. Just sayin!

Interested in starting your own dating challenge? Contact me and let's get you started!
~Tamara

Bachelor No More!

Big congrats to Chris (you know him as Date #3)! He got hitched this week!  Woo hoo! 

Me and Chris at the Knicks game - Date #3 - Feb. 2009

 

31 DATES IN 31 DAYS Named Among Best Dating Books

Yowza! Yippee! Hooray!

I just received a really cool notice from one of the top dating sites, DatingAdvice.comhttp://www.datingadvice.com/for-men/10-best-dating-books, that my book 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS was named on its list of Top 10 Dating Books!

Along with some of my all-time favorite dating books like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" and "Why Men Love Bitches" - is the story of my life-changing dating adventure. This is a huge honor from such a cool site. So grateful!

Happy Dating!


-Tamara, the Date Lady
~Helping you love life - and your lovelife~

Let's make your next date your best date! I'm available for one-on-one coaching and speaking engagements: 31datesin31days(at)gmail(dot)com

A Valentine's Gift for You!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Since today is about giving love away, I have a lil' gift for you! I'm giving away an autographed copy of my book, 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS, to one of you lucky daters.
If you're interested in getting one (for you or a friend), just leave a comment here on my site or leave one on my 31 Dates in 31 Days Facebook page, and share a memorable Valentine's Day moment.
I'll take entries until Sunday, February 17th at 8pm pacific and will make a random drawing that night.

Hoping you are having the loveliest of loving days!
Can't wait to hear about all of your dates!


-Tamara, the Date Lady
~Helping you love life - and your lovelife~

I'm also available for one-on-one coaching. Let's make your next date your best date! 31datesin31days(at)gmail(dot)com

12 Dates in 12 Months - January

 As I mentioned before, I'm taking my own advice and going out on MORE DATES. For Christmas, I planned 12 Dates in 12 Months for my husband. Every month, he gets to open an envelope and we get to do something fun around town - of course, on a strict dating budget. For January, I went all Hollywood on him:

 With the help of Groupon, I tracked down tickets to three Hollywood spots: The Hollywood Museum, the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the Guinness World Records Museum. I got all six tickets for under $30!

World's Strongest Man

Nachoooo!!!

Hollywood Boulevard - lots of Stars and Cars!

"Don't Ever Let Go!"

The "Throne of Love"

As a bonus for January, we were hooked up with solid seats to the Lakers Game from our friends Connie and Micah. Thank you! It's been a great date month. Can't wait to show you what's up for February!

Almost close enough to say we were playing for the Lakers...

Happy Project-versary!

For the past week or so I've been celebrating lots of happy goodness.

Four years ago, I was sitting on a New York City bus looking out the cold, foggy windows onto a snowy Central Park. My plans for an evening horse-drawn carriage ride through the park were thwarted by the snowfall. When it snows there, the city has a calming quiet, as if everyone willingly takes a break to admire the crisp beauty that's fallen upon the streets.

Everything felt new and refreshed to me. I had chosen to embark on a self-imposed journey. In many ways it seemed silly to me. Spend an entire month dating? After all, I dreaded dating. Why was I opting to go out on first dates for an entire month?
But something inside me kept telling me that there was a greater purpose underneath. Just as it is when the snow melts, the blossoms of Spring rise underneath. And so it was with my 31 Dates in 31 Days.

As I look back on the pictures I took during that month, I can't help but feel a growing gratitude for that treasured time in my life and the men who were part of it. When I began my project I had no intentions of finding a boyfriend, much less someone I'd even want to go out on a second date with. But I kept my mind - and heart - open to possibility.

A year later, I married my husband.

Every year at this time I get to look back on all the good that one little risk brought. I thought dating would give me the opportunity to meet some new people. What I hadn't intended was that I would end up seeing men - and the world - with different eyes at the end of the project than I had when I'd begun.

This year's celebrations included a trip to Palm Springs. The sun was shining, snow covered the top of the mountains, and the people were welcoming. And while we splurged for a great room and a fantastic dinner with fancy desserts, what delighted me most was something simple: Lemonade. Our hotel served the most perfectly yummy lemonade that sat in a little jug at the front of the lobby. It was fresh, with just the right amount of sugar, just a hint of tartness, and an itsy bit of lime.

Now, as I celebrate the goodness of thirty men who changed my life and the one man who stole my heart, I'm remembering the simple goodness in life - and the surprises. Because in my life, somehow, even dating - what I considered to be the most sour of lemons - really did turn into the yummiest lemonade.

A Year of Great Dates: 12 Dates in 12 Months

Happy New Year! Ready to dive into a new year of LOVE??

I spend so much time encouraging all of YOU to go out on more dates - so I figured it's only fair if I take my own advice. For Christmas, I gave my husband: 12 DATES FOR 12 MONTHS. 

                                     It all starts with the DATE BOX...

Yep. Our awesome Los Angeles dates are tucked lovingly in a box that screams "I LOVE NEW YORK!" 

Inside, are envelopes. One for each month. He gets to open one on the first of every month.

 Each envelope contains a date idea/extravaganza/excursion for us to go on. Also included with each date is a love note, in full "Bachelorette" style. For instance, for January I wanted to give him a date with Hollywood legends. I landed tickets to the Hollywood Museum, the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the Guiness World Records Museum. I wrote him a cheesy card saying,
                             "Our love is legendary."

Lest you think I'm made of money, I'll have you know I'm also sticking to my own dating budget rules. There's never a reason to spend much more than $31 on a date. This whole $30 package was perfect.

It took me a while to compile this project. If you're thinking of doing something similar, here are some tips:

*Take note of all the activities or spots around town that you've said, "We should do that sometime."
*Search discount sites such as Groupon, Living Social, Zozi, and Travelzoo for local deals.
*Grab some gift certificates
*Check the websites of your local museums, theaters, colleges, historic societies, and parks to see if they have any special activities and offers coming up
*Scour your local weekly city calendar for ideas
*Keep your seasonal celebrations in mind. What do you wish you'd do every summer but always skip?
*You can find cool boxes at craft stores (however, I noticed they were all a little too "girlie" and "crafty"). Also try stores like Ross, Marshall's, and TJ Maxx in their "home" section.
*There are lots of options for envelopes, including plain manila envelopes, pretty stationary from specialty paper stores, or you can get do-it-yourself invitation kits from Staples or Office Depot
*Keep a strict budget. When we plan dates ahead of time - including our costs - we're actually making sure we go out on dates AND we end up saving more money.

I first saw this idea from my friend Shannon Brown who has a GREAT BLOG with lots of creative ideas. She first gave her husband a Year of Dates in 2011 and has stuck to her commitment of going out on one date a month ever since - even with work and three kids!

This year, whether you're single or coupled today, let's commit to going on MORE DATES. After all, what's a great year without lots of love and fun?

Happy Dating - and Happy 2013!
~Your favorite dating coach and guru
                              TAMARA
   

If you're looking for help getting your calendar filled and luring in more love, contact me and I'll help!

My Doomsday Birthday Wish for New Beginnings

Remember when you were a kid and you counted down the days to your birthday? You'd age yourself as "five and three-quarters." You'd celebrate using TWO hands to tell people how old you were. And if you were like me, you'd have a Christmas advent calendar made as a chain of red and green construction paper-links - with a special blue link in the chain that marked four days before Santa made his landing. That day would mark today, my birthday. And I tell you, I haven't looked forward to a birthday like this in many years. Mostly because of this: 

MAYAN CALENDAR (royalty-free stock photo)

That there is the famous Mayan Calendar that allegedly predicts today - December 21, 2012 - as DOOMSDAY. Doomsday also marks my 35th birthday. And I'm telling you, I have been waiting all year to beat this joke to all of our expected deaths: "Wow! Turning 35 really DOES feel like the end of the world!"

People usually make huge trips to Stonehenge on a day like today. That's because December 21st marks the Winter Solstice. The ancient Druids used to have rituals there to welcome in the new season - and some Pagans still do the same. But this year, tourism BOOMED with visits to the Mayan ruins in Central America. 

Scientists who've been analyzing this Apocalyptic prediction say this day doesn't mark the END as much as it marks the BEGINNING of a new era. And with New Year's Eve right around the corner, what better time than now to make vows of a better tomorrow?

Four years ago, I turned 31 and decided it was time to make some changes in my dating life. So I kicked off my 31 Dates in 31 Days in celebration. This year, to kick off this Doomsday Birthday, I'm looking forward to new beginnings - for me - AND YOU! 

If today really did mark the LAST DAY - what would you do? What hopes and dreams are you still holding onto? What kind of new beginnings are you looking forward to?

Let's make 2013 the year of Change and Chances. Let's dig in and help you find the dreams you've been longing for. I'm likely the world's most unconventional dating coach - having gone from being a "Dater-Hater" to a BELIEVER. So how can I help you believe?

My Doomsday wish? For you to dig deep and think about what you want in the new year - and for you to take the chance and make the changes to get you where you really want to be.

My Birthday wish? This year I'm turning my attention toward YOU. For my birthday, I am helping more singles find their path to more love in their lives - and those who've already found companions to invest more in their relationships. Right now I'm taking new clients - so please send your friends my way. I help people work from the inside out, helping them see their true potential, and making simple goals with major results.

You can always email me to get started: 31datesin31days (at) gmail (dot) com. Let's get you LOVING a more loving life!

In the spirit of this great Doomsday Birthday - cheers to all of us and our HAPPY ENDINGS!

-Tamara

The 12 Dates of Christmas

In honor of 12-12-12, this seems the appropriate day to chat about the 12 Dates of Christmas - or as I like to think of it, December's 12-Step Program to stepping up your love life.

How many dates will you be going out on this month?

December happens to be my birthday month (my birthday will be the same as everyone's death day if the Mayans were right - can't wait!). I like to stack this whole month with lots of fun activities and celebrations. Some dates I look most forward to in Los Angeles:

Messiah Sing-Along at Disney Music Hall

A fun night at the Kirk Douglas Theatre

Visiting The Grove's Christmas lights and nightly "snow"

Let the Holiday lovefest begin!

Are You Two Matched for Travel?

My husband and I just got back from a long trip. For much of our travel, we worked on the road, but there was one week where I was able to take in this:

Acropolis in Athens, Greece

...and this:

Sunset in Istanbul, Turkey

...and eat LOTS of this:

Chocolate + Pistachios = Heaven

Because my husband and I both enjoy traveling, I figured I'd have to determine early in our relationship whether we weren't just compatible as every day companions but also as travel buddies.
Have you ever been on a trip with someone who's just awful at traveling? The chances of having a bad match are endless: The planny-planner type vacationing with the go-with-the-flow lounger. The efficient packer with the luggage-lugging counterpart. The hostel-hopper with the five-star aficionado.

So how can you tell if your chosen companion will mesh with your travel type?

Notice how you two mesh on late-night dates:
Traveling around the world or even state-to-state is bound to cause each of you to become tired at some point. One way to determine how you two will cope with each other's weary behavior is to pay attention when you're both up a little later than you anticipated. Of course, everyone seems to be on their best behavior in those early dating stages - and staying up late and sacrificing sleep usually means you can't get enough of each other's presence. But what about those days when you're dragging? Pay attention to your partner. Does he seem like a grumpy bear who just needs a nap? Does she seem a little too out-of-control? Tired traveling can bring out the worst in each of us, so decide now if you're up to handling your partner at his worst when you're at yours.

Plan a day together:
One key factor in traveling well as a couple is planning (or not planning). Schedule a day together. See how well you two work together in the planning stages and in those times when your plans fall through. While you're on your day-long date, notice how often the two of you need to stop for food. Some people tend to graze (like me) while others tend to like three square meals (like my husband). When traveling together, you'll need to make sure each of you gets fed and fueled to keep you moving.

Take a practice trip:
Plan a weekend trip that's a few hours from your home. You'll get to see how the two of you deal with being in a contained space like a bus, car, or plane for several hours. Plus, you'll see how the two of you deal with being away from home for a while. You might also get a glimpse into your partner's world of quirks, like whether they need to clean the house before heading out of town. (Which is a quirk of mine that I will defend for the rest of my life. There's nothing like coming back from a trip to a clean house!)



Happy dating!
And Bon Voyage!

-Tamara