July 15, 2013

Pregnant and Dating

Have you heard about the show, "Pregnant and Dating?" 


Being pregnant WITH a partner is difficult enough with all the back pain, bloating, and frequent visits to the bathroom. I can't begin to think of how much added pressure it would be to date while trying to meet new guys.
But I will say this... for some reason I've noticed something peculiar happening as I waddle my overgrown bottom and belly down the street: Guys dig pregnant chicks.
I'm not talking about the public curiosity and generosity of strangers. Most people have been really kind to me while I'm out doing errands. They ask if this is my first, how far along I am, they wonder whether it's a boy or a girl, and often they help me with doors and such. It's been a wonderful time seeing how gracious strangers can be.
Then, a couple days ago, I was walking home from the grocery store, which is just a few blocks away. winced at the increased pain from my ribs, was sweating from the vengeful heat, and panted and heaved for breath, a new habit ever since my lil' lady began to steal the once-roomy space occupied by my lungs. I'm pretty sure I hadn't even bothered to wear makeup. Maybe not even a bra. I easily could have been mistaken for a vagrant searching for my next imaginary friend.
And then I heard something that had not been a familiar tone since my single days of walking everywhere in New York City. Some dude whistled at me. 
I turned back, checking to see if he was serious. Was he really looking at me?? After all, I looked as disheveled as if I'd woken with a hangover. A hangover on a hippopotamus. 
And he smiled.
Only five more weeks of pregnancy induced cat-calls
Two more times that day, men approached me with that "how you doin" gaze, telling me how good I looked with the same "I must have you right now" tone that I now constantly use when talking about my strong desire for ice cream and cupcakes.
As I get bigger, the men become even more interested. Do men just dig a bloating woman who resembles that girl who turns into a big blueberry in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory? Am I just a growing curiosity? Or is there something legitimate about men finding pregnant women attractive?
Some experts say it has to do with our increased "girly" hormones that we put off when we're pregnant. This is the one and only time in our lives when our skin looks "glowy" (and/or constantly sweaty). Our hair looks even more full since it's not falling out as often. Not to mention our porn-star-sized boobs. Or maybe it's just because guys realize the fear of contraception would be off the table with pregnant gals. 
If nothing else, I'm grateful that my husband ranks among the men who seem to find my expanding body beautiful. Honestly, I don't care what it is that guys dig about pregnant chicks. Just keep those compliments coming. Those moments will be bittersweet memories when our little screamers are annoying everyone in the grocery store.


Dr. Burt said...

{Tweet tweet} That was my virtual whistle.

Frankly, Scarlett said...

This disturbs me - not because you're getting sexually harassed, cuz, lets face it, preggers or no, you're still one hot mama!! This disturbs me on your behalf and on behalf of expectant mothers the world because, unless you forgot to put on a bra this morning, i'm sure you have a great many things to deal with in a day (what with growing a tiny human inside of you an all) than having to put up with obnoxious twits more concerned with rediscovering their inner Neanderthal than with being considerate to a mother and her unborn child. If this were to happen to me whilst in the hormonal throws of gestation, I wonder if a jury would acquit me of assault with a breast pump? Could always blame it on the tiny human inside me after all.

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