December 2, 2011

Silence is the Golden Years

A couple weeks ago I heard an interesting study that asked, "Who knows their partner better? Someone who's been coupled for five years? Or fifty years?"

According to the study, those who'd been together for just a little while were better at predicting their partner's likes and dislikes. The study suggested that couples who'd been together for many years didn't pay much attention to their partner's changing interests. As I started to think about it, it made sense. After all, these days of early marital bliss are spent solely with one another - without kids. I know that my husband usually hates olives, but in the last few months, he's started to like them a little. (Thank goodness!) And he knows that I prefer Sprite over 7-Up and Fresca. But that's not just because we pay attention to each other, we also talk about it.

Apparently, silence is golden in the Golden Years.

Another study from the UK says that a couple married for 50 years will chat for only THREE MINUTES during an entire hour-long dinner. That means 57 minutes of silence while mushing on the early-bird special. Married with little kids? Those parents only chat 10 minutes during dinner. And those Brits who seem to get to know each other best are those who seem to be the most chatty.

But guess what, Americans? Studies have shown that our couples talk to each other even LESS OFTEN than that. On average, married American couples with kids only talk to each other for around 15 minutes a DAY. Other experts think the conversation time is even less, with only 15 minutes of real talk a WEEK. Yowza!

So today the New York Daily News offered some solutions and some ideas to "get to know your mate" a bit better. My favorite is this quiz below that they created. How well would you and your partner answer?

1. If you were planning a surprise party for them, what would you organize?

A) A blow out party of the century or a low key affair with closest friends.
B) A casual outdoor soiree or a catered gourmet extravaganza.
C) What music would be your partner’s preference, a DJ or live band?

2. If you were to choose your partner’s career, what would they rather be?
A) Nine to five desk job with little or no responsibility.
B) A Creative role in a ground-breaking industry
C) A management role where they can exercise their leadership skills.

3. It’s your partner’s birthday, what gift would they love to receive?
A) Tickets to a sporting event or concert.
B) A shopping spree at their favorite store
C) The latest and greatest electronic gadget.

4. You are in charge of planning your sweetheart’s dream vacation. You plan…
A) A relaxing island getaway with plenty of little umbrella drinks
B) An extreme sports adventure chock full of adrenaline
C) A historical city tour complete with walking guide and map

5. It’s movie night and your lover put you in charge of choosing a movie. You choose…
A) An action flick…explosions and fight scenes rule!
B) Romantic comedy…hint hint
C) Scary…you like an excuse to cuddle up

6. Although it may be early, you begin to make retirement plans. Your partner would…
A) Back pack around Europe for the next year
B) Watch TV for the rest of their life
C) Volunteer or take up a new hobby together

7. If your partner went back to school, what would they study?
A) History or sociology
B) Mathematics or accounting
C) Science and technology

8. You surprise your lover with a new dog. You bring them home a…
A) A teacup pup….the yappier the better
B) A giant couch potato
C) A workout buddy

9. If your partner won the lottery, they would…
A) Blow it all on expensive toys
B) Invest it wisely and continue to work
C) Splurge a bit and pay off some bills

10. What romantic gesture would your partner most appreciate?
A) Sunset walk on the beach with your favorite bottle
B) A love letter, poem, or card
C) Arrange to do their favorite, but your least favorite activity

HOW MANY DID YOU GET CORRECT? Share your answer on the blogpoll!

photo source: 1
quiz source

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think I could get at least 9/10 right... But is that because I'm still a new at this married stuff?

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