September 12, 2011

What it's Really Like Doing a Dating Project: Q&A With Bek from "Bek's 30 in 30"

After I did my dating project, a bunch of men and women planned their own "31 Dates in 31 Days" types of projects. In anticipation of the release of my new book, some of those daring daters are sharing stories from their own adventures.So if you're considering being part of my dating challenge and taking on your own mini version of the 31 Dates, pay attention to these experts. They've lived and breathed the challenges of endurance dating and are here to tell their tales.

First up is Rebekah, who kicked off "Bek's 30 in 30" leading up to her 30th birthday. Bekah arranged to have 25 first dates followed by 5 second dates. She had a $30 limit on each date and learned that dating can offer a lot of fun adventures.
Her project, which ended earlier this year, was followed by a long list of second, third, fourth, fifth dates and so on. She lives in Bountiful, Utah, loves cooking, traveling, and hunting for the perfect pair of shoes.

Q: What were you hoping to gain from your dating project experience?

Bek: I was hoping to meet a lot of new guys and start dating someone special.  Honestly, I thought it would be a start to a serious relationship.   That's what I want.

Q:  How did you manage to find so many people to go out with you?

Bek: My friends are awesome.  Most of my dates were set-ups.  I put the word out there over text and facebook that I needed dates and my friends came through for me.  It was hard work though.  I started "recruiting" a month in advance and by the time the first date came around I had enough guys.  It's all about advertising and begging. :)

Q: In what ways did your dating project seem different from your dating life previously?

Bek: There were a few differences. The dates didn't seem that different other than the fact that I had a date every single night instead of once a month. But one of the big differences was that I made my friends set me up. I all but begged them to set me up. Wait - I take that back - I begged a couple of them.
Before my dating project, when a friend would say they wanted to set me up with someone, I would tell them okay and just let them do it if they really wanted to. Most of those dates never happened. So when I started talking about the dating project, I went to all of those friends and told them that now is the time to do it. 

Q: What was the most memorable part of your project?

Bek: There were SO many fun things I did during this project.  I'll tell you my top three:  1) Going to the shooting range with Tyler E.  Talk about a rush!  Loved it!  2) The treasure hunt with Jonathan.  That was one of the most creative and awesome dates I have ever been on.  3) Night kayaking with Johnny.  I can't even tell you how fun that was.  100% fun!  I live really close to the pond and every time I drive by I think, I need to do that again!

Q: Would you do it again? And if so, what would you do differently?   

Bek: I would DEFINITELY do it again.  I went out with 25 amazing guys and had a great time with every single one of them.  I would do something different though.  I would take away the expectations.  I really liked a bunch of the guys and I would have loved to get to know more of them.  I had a hard time picking only 5 to go out on a second date.  I think the most important thing I learned about myself during this project is that I like to take my time in getting to know someone.  One or two dates is not enough time to decide if I want a relationship.  It's definitely enough time to know if I want to see that person again, but I feel like I might have given myself too high of expectations.  If I were to do it again, I would take out round two and only have first dates, then leave it open for a possibility with any of the guys.

Has Rebekah inspired you to do your own dating project? Check out the details of my dating challenge here!

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