September 1, 2011

Considering the 31 Dates Challenge?

In just a few weeks, I'll be celebrating the release of my book, 31 Dates in 31 Days. As a celebration, I'm kicking off a nationwide dating challenge: Do Your Own "mini-31 Dates."

Are you tired of your dating (or lack of dating) life? Are you looking for a new way to approach first dates? Looking to kick start your love life? Are you hoping to meet new people? Or are you simply hoping to get to know more about your city?

Some of you have already contacted me about the challenge and want to know more. There is no limit to the number of people who can take the challenge, although I will want to profile those taking the challenge here on my website throughout the month of October (31 days!).

Here are some details:

*What exactly is the challenge?
The challenge is based on the dating project I created, 31 Dates in 31 Days. This focuses on first dates, setting aside your old mindsets, meeting new people and experiencing new adventures in your city. While you can book your calendar for all 31 dates, I'm suggesting a mini version, such as five dates in five days or 10 dates in two weeks. My big suggestion would be, if you think you can only do three days in three days, push further. Shoot for a higher number of dates than you're thinking AND try to clump them closer together. There are a slew of reasons for this, but mostly the reasoning is two-fold. One, I'm a firm believer that we can push ourselves just a tad bit further than we're giving ourselves credit. Those are the moments when we become truly teachable. And two, the closer you schedule the dates together, the less likely you are to get hung up on your most recent date. The tighter your schedule, the easier it'll be to compare your experiences on date #1 to date #2. This will keep everything fresh, helping you learn more about your own dating habits.
Take a look at your schedule and think about what's realistic. How busy is your September and October? And don't sell yourself short: you can do this!

*How will I get that many people to go out with me?
First, I will help you. Second, ask your friends to help. And third, use the project as an excuse to invite someone on a date. This approach takes the focus off of you and places it on something else. This could be the time to go out with someone you'd never imagine dating. Or it could be the excuse to ask out that one person you've been crushing on.
It's important to remember that this project is not necessarily about finding five potential mates for five dates, this is about re-setting your current dating trends and attitudes. Instead of making one of those infamous "lists" about your ideal date, compile a list of standard boundaries to keep you in a safe and open setting.

Here were my rules:
   *Each date will cost less than $31
   *Each date must last at least 31 minutes
   *Dates will take place in a public setting
   *No drugs
   *No alcohol
   *No married men
   *Some dates will be with friends
   *Some dates will be with strangers
   *Some will be setups

A lot of thought went into my rules. There's a very well-calculated method behind the madness, so if you don't want the long explanation for my rules, just trust the system. To totally understand the reasoning, you'd have to read the book. After all, it took the entire project, plus the two years of writing the book and analyzing everything for me to realize "what worked" for me. 
If you still want further explanation, feel free to ask, I'm happy to be chatty and give you a very abridged version.
Have I inspired you? Scared you? (Totally not my intention!) Do you dare to date differently? Email me at and I'll help get you started!

As for the book, it's on sale at a discounted price until it hits the stores. Right now you can get it for under $12 (less than a movie!). Here's the link to the book on Amazon.

Thanks for celebrating!

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