May 13, 2010

The Green-Eyed Monster

Has jealousy ever killed your relationship? I know we hear a lot about men being jealous, but I know we women are to blame for it as well. I've had times when I've been jealous of the pretty girls in school. Or I found myself being jealous of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends.
Typically, my jealous feelings were unfounded and did nothing more than helped me feel bad about myself.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we allow jealousy to take over when the only ones we're hurting are us?

There are many roots of jealousy: distrust, self-loathing, fear, uncertainty in the relationship, entitlement, even boredom or a general dissatisfaction with the relationship.

Recently Woman's Day and AOL Living surveyed 2,000 women about jealousy. Here are some of their findings that I found interesting:

Is Jealousy a Problem in Your Marriage?
No, not at all: 55%
Yes, I don't really trust my husband:19%
Yes, my husband gets jealous if I even talk to another man: 13%
Yes, neither of us trusts the other: 12%

Other findings:
44% admit that trust issues have put a big dent in wedded bliss. But 55% say that jealousy never rears its ugly head in marriage.
Other statistics tell a much different story. Jealousy may play much more of a role in marriage than you're willing to admit.

77% of the wives polled say they'd be jealous if their husband had a close, platonic female friend. While a mere 13% of husbands claim to be the superjealous type, the majority of women don't like it if their guy has a strictly friends-only gal pal.
53% of you secretly check his phone messages and e-mails.
53% of you flirt to make your man jealous.

So how do we stop jealousy from getting out of control? Here are a few little tidbits I dug up:

*Seek the truth and accept it. Is your jealousy based on facts? Or have you somehow created a storyline in your head that seems all-too real?
*Talk with your partner and keep in mind that your goal is to strengthen the relationship, not to blame your partner for your emotions.
*Accept your own emotion of jealousy and take control of it.

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