Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Filmmakers Jesse Budd and Patrick Romero think they've found the answer to that tricky question: Can men and women be friends?



Today I'm asking you: Can men and women be friends? I have a poll posted on the blogsite, so please weigh in. If you're in the mood to comment, let me know why you think men and women can or can't be friends.
And if you can't come up with any good reasons for your answer, maybe this will help...

How Many Friends Do You REALLY Have?

In the days of having hundreds of "friends" on Facebook, one study sought to discover how many tried-and-true, thick-and-thin friends most people truly have.

I'm one of those people who keeps in touch with most of the people I've met. I still keep up with all my friends from elementary school, I somehow remember the life stories of people I've met briefly but managed to have some sort of strong connection with. But I still have just a small list of people who I would call in the midst of dire craziness.

How many people do you have?

Apparently most Americans say they have two true friends, confidantes with whom they've discussed their most important issues with in the last six months. And apparently, this number is down from 25 years ago, when Americans said they had three close friends. Around 4% said they have zero people in their lives they consider truly close friends. And women were more likely to list more confidantes than men.

So how many of your friends do you consider your most trusted confidantes? Click on the poll on this site!

And speaking of friends, here is today's love song, courtesy of my friend, "Akshan," who I grew up singing with and is an AMAZING artist. I'm lucky to have really cool, talented friends.



Credit: Free images from acobox.com

Sarah's Questions

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by all of the busy events going on right now: the release of my first book, the selling of my old homes in another state, the purchase of a new one here in California, and the regular deadlines and demands of life. And then somehow one moment can bring everything back into perspective.

In my moments of busy-ness, I stopped to take the garbage outside. As I hurried the trash bag to the garbage bin, I noticed two kids playing together, a boy around 7 years old who was playing with a stick, and a girl, around 4, who danced in circles in her pretty lime green dress and matching Crocs. I hustled to the garbage can, threw in my bag, and headed back to my door. That's when I saw a tiny little burst of green happily hopping my way.
"What's your name?" the little girl asked with a high-pitched voice.
I turned to see the little girl smiling up at me. "Tamara," I answered, "what's yours?"
"Sarah."
"Ohhh," I said, "I love that name."
"Are you a girl or a boy?" she asked.
For a moment I was thinking Sarah was losing her cuteness, but I figured I'd indulge her line of questioning. "I'm a girl. What about you? Are you a girl or a boy?"
"I'm a girl," she said. And then she approached me and pointed to my breasts. "Then why do you have that?"
Lest you think Sarah was as confused about gender identity as I had considered, I should point out what I just noticed. Sarah wasn't actually pointing to my breasts. She was pointing to the Batman symbol on my t-shirt.
"Oh," I said. "Batman's pretty cool. Girls can wear Batman stuff. Besides, there's also Batgirl. Have you heard of her?"
"Yeah," she said, giggling as she spun away. Then stopped, asking one more question. "Do you wanna be my fwend?"
I felt my chest under my bat symbol get a little warm. A smile stretched across my face. "I would love to be your friend. Do you wanna be mine?"
She nodded, then continued spinning away.

I felt my cheeks flush as I walked back inside. How lucky was I to have such a sweet, silly girl live near me?

Thanks Sarah for reminding me of the really great stuff life has to offer.
Your friend, Tamara.

Me. Time.

A few days ago the world's oldest woman, Eunice Sanborn, died at 114 years old. She was born in 1896. Before the Wright Brothers flew. She outlived her only child, a daughter who died at 90 years old. She also outlived three husbands and joked of scoping out a fourth!

The new reigning champ of longevity is Besse Cooper, who's also 114.

And the oldest person ever recorded lived until 122 years old!!!
Also a woman.

Right now, there are 85 people who are older than 110 years old; 80 of them are women, only five are men. According to the Gerontology Research Group, there are a few factors that play into this extra-long longevity. Among them, genetics, a healthy body weight, and being female.

This confuses me. Especially when you tie in the last factor that plays into a long life: a positive outlook.
If it's true that positive, stress-free people live longer, then why are women outliving men?

The American Psychological Association says, in general, women tend to report higher levels of stress than men. Women also have a higher tendency to feel like they're not able to manage their stress well. They're less likely to set time aside for themselves. They feel more "responsible" for the well-being of everyone and everything.

On average, men tend to be taller, stronger, faster, less likely to be overweight, and have lower stress than women. But in many countries, women tend to live an average 10 years longer.

Recently, scientists have pointed to one key factor in these women's long lives. Friends.
In fact, having close social ties could increase your chances of a longer life (7.5 years longer on average) by 50%. In fact, the advantage to having friends can extend your life just as long as it would if you were a non-smoker!

Like everyone, there have been days when I've felt like life has been pretty rough. Thankfully, those have been the days when my friends come to my rescue. They remind me to keep my chin up and to keep pushing forward. They give me purpose. In a sense, they save me.
Could good friends really be saving - and extending - our lives?

I come from a long line of long lives. My grandpa lived until 100. With such good genes and even better friends, I imagine I could live forever.





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